A Little Bit About Me, Introduction

First Post! – Welcome to My Mind

Hello and welcome to the craziness! This blog was originally going to be a lifestyle blog but I changed my mind and am making it a more personal blog which will include stories from my life and my general feelings on things whether it’s a rant or a rave or just a thought. I do have another blog which is a lifestyle blog called Crazy, Beautiful, Chaos https://crazytownticket.wordpress.com. If you get the time I’d love for you to check it out but now on to this one.

I don’t have too much to say for an introduction to this blog as I kind of already said it but I hope you continue reading and if you feel so inclined I welcome comments and if there are any questions or suggestions I will definitely get back to you. Hope you enjoy!

Entertainment, Opinions/Reviews/Thoughts

Opinion Piece: Bigfoot Collectors Club Podcast/

I am OBSESSED with this podcast. I have to admit I only found it because I was searching for podcasts that Jen Kirkman was a guest on and I found this podcast. She appears on four episodes I think. Anyway, I started listening and realized that Michael McMillian is one of the hosts and I knew him as Henry from What I Like About You and loved him on the show. I did not know the other host Bryce Johnson but he’s awesome and the relationship between the two and the passion they have for the things they talk about is so great.

This podcast is all about paranormal things that happen to the hosts, their guests and their listeners. They have their listeners write in with their paranormal stories and read them on the show sometimes. I haven’t written in yet because I didn’t think I had any stories to share but then I got thinking and I do. I’m going to be writing in to them soon.

I have to warn you though, if you start listening be prepared to jump out of your skin lol. I’m kidding kind of, according to my boyfriend it’s not really that scary but I get terrified listening to it. Just yesterday I was vacuuming my house and I had my earbuds in listening to the podcast. I was in a particular scary spot and all of a sudden the vacuum stopped. I knew that the power hadn’t gone out because the lights were still on and I knew that I hadn’t gone too far and accidentally pulled the plug out of the wall because I always use that outlet and knew that I had plenty of slack. I happened to be standing on a toilet at the moment it stopped and I almost fell off. I have two dogs so I was pretty confident that if I was in any real trouble they would have saved me but I was still scared. I hopped off the toilet and ran around to where the outlet was to see what had happened and I see that one of the dogs was walking away from the cord. He had pulled it out of the wall. He doesn’t like the vacuum (which is ironic because he’s the reason I have to use it so much) but I think he had pulled the cord out to make it stop.

I felt better that it wasn’t anything scary coming for me like I thought but then I was scared/concerned that my dog had electrocuted himself. He didn’t. Thankfully, he’s perfectly fine.

This is the little hooligan, Berg, in question.
This is the other dog, Gemma. She’s the one that I know for sure would have saved me had I been in trouble. Not that the other one wouldn’t but this picture is her staring out the window making sure nothing suspicious is going on in the neighborhood. She does it a lot.

I was also listening to this podcast the other day in the car and my boyfriend was with me. It was the episode with Donna Lynne Champlin and they were playing back the EVP recordings she had where you could hear ghost voices and I was leaning in close to the Bluetooth speaker I have in my car to hear better and my boyfriend decided to grab my leg and I about jumped out of the car lol. My boyfriend thought it was hilarious and it took me forever to get my heart rate to return to normal. But that was a particularly scary part of the episode.

Okay so back to paranormal stuff, when I was younger I was outside with my friend. Her and I used to be outside all the time, especially in the summer. One night we were outside and for some reason or another we happened to be looking up at the night sky. We used to just lay on her trampoline sometimes and stare up at the sky to see how many shooting stars we could see. Anyway, we happened to see this reddish light moving through the sky, we thought it was a plane. It obviously wasn’t a shooting star, but then the light started to go in reverse. It went back and forth a couple more times before disappearing. The only logical explanation to my friend and I was that it was aliens playing tennis. It wasn’t a shooting star and a plane wouldn’t go back and forth and then all of a sudden disappear. I can’t be sure that it was aliens playing tennis in the sky obviously but it was something strange for sure.

There was another instance, I can’t remember if it was the same night or not, that her and I were outside again and we happened to glance across the street and there was a big gate type thing that led to a field. The gate was wooden and a little space underneath so that it could slide freely without hitting the ground. In that space behind the gate, we saw two red lights. We think they were red glowing eyes. They weren’t light up sneakers or anything because they weren’t flashing and they weren’t moving. They were just glowing and “looking” in our direction. Plus earlier that night we had heard a high pitched squeaky noise coming from behind the gate too.

Those are my paranormal experiences but I know that my family specifically my mom and my niece have had paranormal experiences too. My niece is young. She’s 4 right now and when she was a little younger she used to talk to “someone”. My brother overheard her talking to “someone” in her room and he asked her about it. She said she was talking to Gary. My brother kind of assumed it was an imaginary friend but asked her about it a little because our grandfather’s name was Gary and he passed away in 2004. My niece had never met him. She explained what he looked to my brother and she described things that she wouldn’t have known and we think it was his ghost or spirit that she talked to so frequently.

My mom has also had some experiences. She would wake up in the middle of the night and see a shadow like figure at the end of her bed or in the corner of her room and no one would be there. She also had a long period where she would smell cigarette smoke all the time. She does not smoke, neither does her husband, my stepdad. She used to smell it all the time in the house that they lived in and she could never understand why. No one else could smell it but my stepdad did smell it in her hair.

Anyway, this podcast is amazing and if you’re into paranormal things, Bigfoot, or strange happenings it could be worth checking out. I always enjoy listening to it and get a few laughs because the banter between the hosts is always entertaining.

Opinions/Reviews/Thoughts

Not a Feminist Rant but More of an Observation

As the title of this post states this is NOT a feminist rant (mostly because I hate what modern day feminism has become), I just want to be clear on that, it is however an observation on the differences of how men and women are treated in everyday life. Whether it’s in the grocery store, walking to your car or on a job site. I’m going to use my experience on a construction site I worked at but it happens in other ones obviously as well.

First there’s just the way that men feel the need to comment on anything a woman does when they wouldn’t do the same to a man. I went to the liquor store the other day and carried out a couple bottles of liquor and was walking to my car with them, a man was standing by his vehicle and I had not even glanced in his direction (not out of snobbery or anything but he wasn’t in the direction of my car and I was trying to open my door) he commented “Looks like someone’s going to be drinking tonight” or something along those lines. It’s a harmless enough comment I suppose, I wasn’t scared nor did I feel threatened but I did have to turn around and say “What?” because I had no idea anyone would be talking to me as again I hadn’t even glanced in his direction. I just don’t think he would’ve said something had I been a man. That is my most recent interaction but there are multiple instances where that happens.

I was in a convenient store the other day picking up a case of sprite, I was standing in line behind a guy, he looked at me and what I was holding and said “That’s a big case of sprite.” I just said “Yep.” Again it’s another harmless comment but he probably wouldn’t have said that to a man. If my boyfriend had went in instead of me I bet he wouldn’t have said a word.

I was at the grocery store and was going through the self checkout. I had a few things in my cart and a bag of dog food on the bottom of the cart. It was just me shopping. I had lifted the bag of dog food off of the shelf and put it onto my cart all by myself. I had an earbud in and left one out (in case someone does need to say something to me and so I can be aware of what is going on around me) and ringing my stuff out. The guy that works for the self checkout part walked up to me (the only woman there at the time) and says “Hey how are you today?” I respond with the usual “I’m good. How are you?” He says fine and then continues “Are good things happening today or bad?” I pause my music at this time and say “Nothing bad just grocery shopping.” He then turns and goes to see if there is anyone that needs help. Didn’t talk to anyone else though like he did me. He then comes back “Did you get the dog food yet?” I had not because I was waiting until I had everything else done. I reply “No, not yet.” He just cuts in and is like “I’ll get that for you,” and types it in manually, I appreciate the gesture I suppose, he’s trying to save me from having to lift it an extra time, but I just have to pick it up to put in my car and then take back out and bring into my house. I just felt it was an unnecessary thing and again do not think he would’ve done that had it been a man.

My boyfriend does construction work and I had been looking for a job, my boyfriend suggested I apply at his work and said that I’d basically have no problem getting the job, I was hired and worked with him for about two months. One of his main concerns about me working with him was that if guys hit on me, he was going to get pissed. I only really got hit on once but the difference between how I was treated when I was on my own and when I was walking around with my boyfriend was so different. One of the biggest things was when I was fire watching (it is exactly as it sounds lol) I watch to make sure no fires start when someone is welding or grinding, most every guy that passed me would make some type of comment along the lines of “What a fun job,” obviously in a sarcastic way but then some would go even further and feel the need to try and strike up a conversation as if to save me from the boredom. One, I doubt they would make any type of boring job comment to a man and two, I’m trying to do my job and I’m sure you have work to do so thanks but I don’t need a conversation. Another thing was if I was just walking somewhere and I was by myself a lot of guys would give me a head nod or say “Hello, how are you doing?” or some such thing I’d politely say “Fine,” but I noticed when I was walking with my boyfriend no one did that to him unless they knew him and no one did it to me, even if it was a guy who had done it to me multiple times before.

Also, another thing that irritated me was that not many people wanted to actually have me work. When my boyfriend taught me things and let me do actual work everyone always said something like “Wow, you’re making her work?” or “You’re working her too hard,” I for one was super excited to actually do work and you wouldn’t say that about any guy. Also, it’s a job that’s what I’m there to do, work.

When I was younger I used to work at a campground with my best friend. We were working together and we were behind the counter where we checked people in to their sites and served ice cream and things like that and since it was during the summer, it was quite hot. One time a man came in and was checking in or getting ice cream or something but he decided to strike up a conversation with the two of us. He talked about the weather and how it was only supposed to get hotter as the weekend went on. My friend and I agreed and were just trying to get on with working. This guy then continues to say “Yeah you should really wear your bathing suits to try and stay cool,” That was by far one of the most ridiculous/infuriating comments a man has ever made to me. He definitely would not have said that to any of the guys that worked at the campground.

I say all this not so much as a feminist rant again, but just as a general observation of how differently women are treated versus men. I listen to Jen Kirkman a lot whether it’s her podcast, her comedy specials, her Facebook stories, or reading her books and she talks a lot about it and it really made me think about it and I notice it too. I will say however, I could do without the small talk and thinking that I can’t or shouldn’t have to do something because I’m a girl. I’ll let you in on a secret, if you tell me I can’t or shouldn’t you can bet it’s going to make me do it or try that much more. I am the most stubborn, spiteful person when it comes to things like that.

Entertainment, Opinions/Reviews/Thoughts

Opinion Piece: Having Funlessness with Jen Kirkman Podcast

This is an opinion piece on Jen Kirkman’s podcast “Having Funlessness with Jen Kirkman.” I’m not calling it a review because as she states in her podcast multiple times reviews are subjective. Reviewers may not like a joke or get something but if everyone else does or is laughing than the reviewer is the odd one out but no one reading it will know unless they were there. So these are all my opinions.

I LOVE her podcast. One of my favorite things about it is that you just never quite know what you’re going to get, besides fabulousness that is. Some of her podcasts are hilarious, some are vulnerable, some are sad, some are fired up about the current state of the world, but all are 100% real.

I was recently listening to some of her older episodes and I came across an episode called “The Half-Assed Thanksgiving Episode” at around 50:38 she says “I pretend I’m an earthquake” and I started laughing uncontrollably at this. She is talking about a hutch that she has and how it is not attached to a wall so she occasionally goes over to it and pretends she’s an earthquake and shakes it a little to see how stable it is since she lives in California and there are so many earthquakes there. That is one of her many hilarious moments/episodes. Also during this time on the podcast she is going through voice therapy and is working on “m” sounds so she’ll just randomly say “my arm is numb” sometimes just in the middle of the podcast and I think it is hilarious.

One of my favorite things about this podcast is the randomness. Listening to this podcasts makes me feel like I’m listening to her stream of consciousness which makes me feel better about my own because if someone were to listen to mine I’m sure it would sound pretty similar as far as the randomness goes.

I also want to point out that in a newer episode “The 300th Episode” my boyfriend got a shout out from Jen. Him and I had went to her show in Nashville (which I’m also going to do an opinion piece on) and he wore his Trump hat which says “Make Liberals Cry Again”. However, Jen gave him a shout out for not shouting anything out during her show even though they basically disagree on everything. After the show when Jen was signing books my boyfriend and I went up to have her sign the books that I had bought and she read his hat and asked him something along the lines of if he listened to her podcast. He told her that I listen to her podcast all the time and so he does too. She was super sweet and really nice and I was internally freaking out while talking to her because I am such a fan and couldn’t believe I got to meet her. Later on though when that podcast episode came out I was listening and my boyfriend was not with me at the time but as soon as I got home I immediately messaged him to tell him about the episode. I heard her say something about the Nashville show and a guy in a Trump hat and I started freaking out. She also mentioned his girlfriend (me) and I was just so excited. Basically though she just gave him a shout out for listening through her show and not shouting things out even though as I said before they basically disagree on everything. She shouldn’t have to say things like that because it should be basic decency to not shout things out at her shows unless she is specifically asking audience members for participation but nevertheless I was still super excited.

This podcast though really makes me look forward to Wednesday mornings and gets me through the midweek slump that I usually find myself in. In case you want to give it a listen, it comes out Wednesday mornings. I have been listening to this podcast for a while now and am so glad I found it. I found it when I was thinking about whether or not I wanted a divorce from my husband and have been listening ever since. Her podcast is really everything I didn’t know I needed in a podcast: random, funny, smart, informative, and real.

family, Opinions/Reviews/Thoughts

NOT a Mom Rant

I know that I have posted some rants about ridiculous moms in the past but I wanted to do a post today about a mom who I actually think is doing the right thing and being one of the most honest moms out there. It was a post on Facebook and I am not friends with this woman but it was shared by one of my friends.

“‘You know I love you very much, but you’re REALLY annoying me today’. Right then a young couple walked by, presumably with no kids because the man uttered, ‘Well that was brutally honest.’ To which I replied with a sickening sweet smile, ‘Well they ARE being brutally annoying.’ And of course a lovely elderly woman strolled by and chimed in, ‘They grow up fast…you’re going to miss this someday.’” I for one think that this woman handled her kids perfectly fine, mostly because it’s her choice on how she parents and also it’s okay to think that your kids are annoying sometimes. It does not mean that you love them any less but it’s also a reality check. Everyone is going to annoy you at some point most likely, including your kids. As much as I love my dad and he loves me, I am sure I annoyed him at least a couple times as a child, did it have an effect on our relationship though? No, not in the slightest. This young couple whether they have kids or not but I’m assuming same as her that they don’t just shouldn’t have commented because while they are entitled to their opinion this woman is probably trying as hard as she can to keep her kids in control, while still doing what she was trying to do at the store on top of probably having either dealt with them all day or at least part of the day. The elderly woman I’m sure meant well but at the same time as this woman later states in her post that she is not going to miss the times when her children were fighting or being “annoying” in a store. Regardless it is still up to this woman and her husband on how she parents. Plain and simple, no one else has a say. I know I am talking about it, but this is my opinion and I’m sure in no way will get back to her nor would it make a difference either way.

She goes on to say, “‘Really? REALLY?’ You think I’m going to miss being tortured by two kids in a grocery store someday? After they fought alllllll morning and had their water guns thrown away because they wouldn’t stop shooting each other in the eyes. Not to mention one was grounded for an hour, and I had to rip them apart not once, but twice prior to the produce aisle because they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other! I promise, I won’t miss THIS part of motherhood.” I feel like so many moms, at least the ones I know would cringe to hear that, but you know what I’m sure there are going to be parts of motherhood that you are not going to miss. There will be some that you will absolutely miss and long for but some are going to pass and you are not going to miss those at all. This mother did nothing wrong (not that my opinion means anything or that she needs my validation in any way) but she simply expressed to her kids how she was feeling. She even prefaced with saying that she still loved them.

The rest of her post goes on to say basically how after the grocery store she left the kids with her husband and went to get her nails done and then went home ready to deal with them again. I think this mother needs a whole bunch of praise and a lot of others should follow her example. However you decide to parent is obviously your and your partners (if you have one) choice but I believe having this type of reality check is an important part of growing up. I know so many mothers who coddle their children and just try to cater to the child’s every whim so that they will stop crying or fighting or whatever they are doing and while again it’s your choice I just think it’s raising an entitled group of children who are going to be in for a rude awakening when they are out on their own. This woman was honest and loving with her children and it was the first time in a long time I agreed and was not infuriated with a “victim” or martyr mom and had to share.

Rants

Ridiculous Twitter Lady Rant

Every tweet this woman writes infuriates me. Before I go more into this though I want to say a couple things. I am not a religious person in the sense that I grew up in church or go to church on a regular basis. I used to go to church on a semi-regular basis with my soon to be ex husband but I did not before him nor do I go now. I always looked at religion as kind of cult like. I mean I guess it is in a sense but I never wanted to go to church because I never wanted to be in a cult like environment. Not that all churches are but a lot of them seem to be to me. The reason I went to my ex’s church is because the pastor was hilarious and it was very relaxed and didn’t have a cult like vibe to me at all. I do believe in God but I also believe in everything. I guess I am more spiritual than religious but have still always believed in a higher power. My saying this is just to point out the fact that just because most of her tweets are about religion and refer to it, that is not the reason I think this lady is infuriating but what she does with the tweets.

This is the woman in question. Everything she tweets is very problematic.

Most of this lady’s tweets are basically saying that women should get married, have babies and stay at home taking care of the children and the house (also saying don’t go to college, don’t get a job, rely on a man). If that is what you want to do, I don’t care. I have no problem with stay at home mom’s or wives. If it works for you and your partner then great. However, I think it has become increasingly harder for that type of situation to work. Most times both people need to work to make ends meet. Or even if both don’t have to sometimes both just want to work and that’s okay too. A mom or a dad can both work or one can stay at home and the other can work, it’s really about what is feasible and works for them. Now what is problematic about this is that some people can’t have children and some people don’t want children. That’s okay if you don’t want them. Children are expensive and are a lot of work. (I don’t have a child but have babysat a lot but I do want a child eventually but I have also put a lot of thought into my decision. Having a child is a huge deal). Also, that is not what life is about. If your life is just about having a child, that’s okay but if that’s only part of it, that’s okay too. It’s okay to be a wife, a mom, and have a career. It’s also okay to be single, childless and have a career. It’s okay to be any combination of those things as long as it works for you.

Another problematic thing with her tweets is that she does not believe that women should go to college because it doesn’t teach them how to be wives and mothers. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. No, it doesn’t teach you how to be a wife or mother or keep a home but most people just do that through experience and how they grew up and common sense. Also, whether you are a stay at home mom or not, if you want to go to college, GO! Again, this is something that only you can decide if it’s right for you. I personally am not a fan of college for myself. I believe it was unnecessary for what I want to do and I believe it can add a lot of debilitating debt to people just for a piece of paper that doesn’t necessarily guarantee them a job. However, that is my opinion and I have never tried nor would I try to impart that on anyone who doesn’t ask my opinion. If you want to go to college, fabulous, if not, great. It’s up to you.

The most troubling thing to me is that she uses the Bible and God to claim all of these things. Again, I am not super religious and I have never read the Bible but I’m pretty sure God would be okay with whatever you decide to do as long as you are a kind and loving person. All I really mean by that even is that you are just a decent human being who treats everyone with the basic amount of respect and you help someone out if you can and the situation arises.

“Slow down, mothers. Your children don’t need to be in a lot of activities that keep you away from your home. Simplify your life so you can truly be a keeper at home. Your children will appreciate the peace and order this brings to their lives.” I have so many problems with this tweet of hers. I do agree that sometimes maybe kids are involved in too many things. While doing activities and being a part of groups is good for children it is also important to rest and spend time at home with family or friends or just being by yourself. However, this tweet to me seems like she is wanting to create a world where everyone besides the men are at home including young boys when they are children. That is just going to create sheltered children who are not going to know what to do in the real world. How are the boys supposed to grow into these men that go out and provide for their women when they have been so sheltered in their childhood that they have no idea how to interact in the real world. Maybe that isn’t what she fully meant but it seems to be it’s trying to keep children sheltered.

“Most young girls are being trained to be career women while few are being trained to be wives and mothers. Feminism teaches that women have a greater impact having careers while God tells us that women have a greater impact being wives and mothers.” I do not understand why they have to be one or the other. I know a woman who is a friend of my family and I have worked for that is a wife, a mother and an anesthesiologist. She is great at being all those things and finds a way to balance them all. I don’t believe women or men should have to be put into any one category. In fact, this woman’s husband was a stay at home dad when their child was little because his wife made enough money to support their family and he could care for the child while his wife was at work. It worked for them and they were both happy being in those roles. It did not make him any less of a man for not working and caring for the child nor did it make her a bad mother for not staying home to tend to the child and house. It worked for them and that’s all that matters. This woman’s ideas are so antiquated and infuriating.

“There are articles about the many LGBTQ books in the public schools so parents can be warned and made aware of them. The solution is simple: homeschool your children!” Again all this is doing is creating sheltered children who are not going to know how to do anything or interact in the world. I have known quite a few people that have been homeschooled and I only know of one parent who seemed to be doing it the best way she could. While she did homeschool her children, she also made sure that she was in contact with the local schools to be able to get her children involved in sports or school groups so that they could still interact with other humans. It’s so important for children to socialize so that they can know what to do and how to survive in the world outside of their home. As for the LGBTQ books in public schools, I don’t know how true that is but your child is going to be whatever they are going to be regardless of a book.

“For mothers who want to come home: Buy ‘The Tightwad Gazette’ and learn how to live extremely frugal. It’s so worth it to be home full time. A penny saved is a penny earned! Your children NEED you.” Part of my problem with all of this women needing to be home and mothers nonsense is that I was raised by my dad. I have mentioned it before and as I have said before I love my momma. She has always been a part of my life and we have a really, really good relationship. When I was young her and my dad got a divorce because they simply weren’t working together. Nothing bad, nothing good just disagreeing on the paths they were on. I have always been a daddy’s girl. I don’t know why but I am very close to my dad and always have been. When I was sick I wanted my dad, when I was sad I wanted my dad, happy, dad and so on. I just wanted my dad. My mom did what was right for me and in my best interest which I think so many parents actually fail to do and took my feelings into consideration. It nearly broke her to leave me with my dad but she knew I would be happier. Again, not that I didn’t love my mom or want to be with her but just that I was a daddy’s girl. My momma ended up remarrying a man in the military, my stepdad, who I love very much and am very proud to call my stepdad, and I think it worked out for the best that I stayed with my dad because being in the military my momma and stepdad had to move every three years. I could have done it. Many children do, but I was very shy (and still can be) when I was younger and I do not make friends easily (mostly because I believe in quality over quantity) but I think I would have been very lonely and not as happy had I been in that lifestyle. So my biggest problem is that she’s claiming all this stuff about women and how important it is for them to be mothers when I grew up with my father who provided for me and cared for me. I had a stepmom but it was a rocky relationship at best and all things considered my dad raised me for the most part. I would get on and off the bus at my gramma and poppa’s while I waited for my dad to get out of work and he would take me home. I just don’t understand why men and women can’t just take on whatever role they’d like and worked for them and their family if they choose to have one.

Another big issue, what does she think of women who can’t have children? Is her worth diminished because she can’t do “what God wants”? Is she just expected to still stay at home and take care of the house and wait for her husband to come home to take care of him? Again if this is the situation for people and they choose to be at home and take care of their husband if they can’t have children then I am so happy for them but for it to be pushed on them like this woman would like is complete and utter nonsense.

There is no real “point” to this post I guess other than to just rant and share the lunacy that this woman teaches. Women and men alike should be able to do whatever works for them and their partner if a partner is even something they want.

Entertainment, Opinions/Reviews/Thoughts

The One Where I Will Always Defend Friends

Okay so this is not the first article I have written about Friends whether to defend it or to just talk about how much I love it. I have been watching it for as long as I remember. I am 26 years old and the show came out in 1994. I was born the year before it came out. I know my momma used to watch it all the time so when I say as long as I can remember I mean I was probably watching it when it came out just not cognizant of it. It has been and still is my favorite show. I know that people talk a lot of crap about it and prefer How I Met Your Mother or The Office or something of that nature. I have nothing against those shows. One of my friends favorite shows is HIMYM and I used to watch it with her all the time and enjoyed it. My boyfriends favorite show is The Office and I have watched it with him at least four times through probably and I’ve only been with him a little over a year. Each time I laugh and still find it very enjoyable but Friends will forever by my show. I am writing this article to defend Friends point by point against a buzzfeed article that I will link at the end of my post. So here we go.

“The further away I get from my youth, the more I want to warn the younger generation, those Gen Z’ers in their puka shell necklaces and scrunchies and Vans that what they love is actually unmitigated garbage.” Let them love what they love. As long as it’s not hurting anybody what is the problem? Besides what someone likes is subjective. What you like is not necessarily what I am going to like and vice versa.

“…and yet here I am, telling my niece that no, I will not be watching Friends with her. Friends, my darling, is terrible.” Friends, my darling (said as sarcastically as Mr. Bing himself would say) is an iconic show of the ‘90’s and you are absolutely wrong. I don’t give a damn what you or anyone else says. There is a reason that it has remained on Netflix and in reruns and still has a huge fan base and merchandise. It freaking rocks.

“Pop-up events, public screenings, and merchandise are all materializing for die-hard fans, because everyone could use a bracelet with a catcall written on it.” “How you doin’?” said by Joey Tribbiani I assume is the “catcall” of which she speaks. I assume it is even more frowned upon now in the time of the #MeToo movement and all that but this was a different time and certainly not meant as a “catcall”. A catcall by definition is a shrill whistle or shout of disapproval, typically one made at a public meeting or performance or a loud whistle or comment of a sexual nature made by a man to a passing woman. I understand that I am about to defend a fictional character but it defends the show and takes down this woman’s point about catcalling. Joey when using this phrase is normally talking to an individual who he is trying to pick up or express interest in. He is not making this random remark to passing women in order to “catcall” them but to try and get a woman to know he is interested and see if she is in return interested in him. I know the way he says it and the ultimate meaning behind it may be sexual in regards to what he hopes it will lead to but it is by definition not a catcall. If you think it is then perhaps you are one of those “precious” snowflakes that is offended way too easily by everything. To that I say good luck in this world (again very sarcastically).

“People are debating whether Friends or Seinfeld is better (not to spoil my own article, but it’s Seinfeld and this should be obvious).” Okay, Seinfeld came out in 1989 and ran until 1998, that’s about 5 or 6 years it overlapped with Friends being on the air. Argue with me if you want but there shouldn’t even be a debate about which one is better because they’re not really all that similar in regards to their plot points. Seinfeld, this is a widely known fact, is about nothing. They have “conflicts” but not really and then it’s “resolved” but if you really think about it and again this is a widely known fact, nothing happens in any episode. Now this is nothing against Seinfeld because I have watched all of Seinfeld and I do very much like the show but Friends is still the best even though I don’t think it should even be a debate. Friends has real conflicts and resolutions throughout the show. From romantic relationships, to friendships, to money problems which are things we all deal with in real life then and now. Personally, I learned a lot from Friends. Go ahead judge me on that if you want but I’m not the only one with that feeling. So to settle the debate, Friends is better.

I am going to quote this whole next paragraph because all of it is irrelevant in terms of what it actually has to do with the quality of the show and I will explain after it’s quoted what I mean. “Marine biologists who probably spent years in school and hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education are out here informing us that, actually, lobsters don’t mate for life, contrary to what Phoebe, a fictional character in a bad television show whose entire personality trait is being flighty, said at some point in the late ‘90s. We have also recently learned that the monkey actor who played Ross’s pet (an actual plotline from a show about people living in New York, where half the landlords won’t even let you have a well-behaved dog) is still working — which is, I guess, good for the monkey. The content never ends, and yet, somehow, people never seem to lose their appetite for more. It was recently reported that Robert De Niro is suing a former employee for, in part, watching 55 episodes of Friends in four days.” The part about lobsters mating for life is irrelevant to the quality of the show. So it’s wrong, it’s not like everything on TV is correct anyway, that has nothing to do with the quality of the show. Besides Phoebe is known for having theories that are not exactly “normal” or “right”. As for her personality trait being flighty so what? Some people are like that. It can happen. The part about the actor monkey still working what does that have to do with anything relating to the quality of the show? The plot line she is referencing is an actual part of the show but it’s not like he asked the landlord to have the monkey. He snuck it in, which is why when Rachel loses the monkey and calls animal control it’s such a huge deal because he’s an illegal exotic monkey that he’s not supposed to have anyway. Also New York, is not the only place where most landlords don’t allow you to have dogs whether they are well behaved or not. That is almost anywhere, I am in Tennessee close to Nashville and no matter where you look landlords rarely allow dogs. Also the Robert De Niro thing, he is suing because the employee watched the shows on company time. I imagine anyone would sue or fire or something for that. They were supposed to be working and instead spent four days watching Friends. It’s not because of the show but the action of watching any show at all. Also, the main freaking reason, she was EMBEZZLING money. So let’s just get all the facts and not leave out something just because it’s inconvenient to your story.

“…I would be remiss if I didn’t remind you all of the truth: Friends, a show about white people being thin and having the pointiest nipples in the continental Americas — and a show that I, at one time, watched and enjoyed — is absolute garbage.” Okay that is not at all what Friends is about. Yeah it is white people and I’ve heard the argument about it being white before. Yeah it is. So were a lot of shows at that time and even today there’s a lot out about how everything is still mainly white. But going to back to the debate about Friends or Seinfeld. Seinfeld is a bunch of white people too. Also let’s not forget that Michael Richards who plays Cosmo Kramer had a whole rascist rant in 2006. So sure both shows are white and while Kramer the character didn’t have any racial rants the actual actor did. Also the show has nothing to do with them being thin. Sure they all were but what show besides a select few don’t have thin actors and actresses. That’s what Hollywood is mostly. Not that it’s right, but it’s mostly people trying so hard to be thin. As far as the pointy nipples it was the ‘90s, that was the style and maybe it was just really cold in the studio. It’s a part of the body get over it.

“Rachel got off the plane!!! I was glad, but I was also a virgin and didn’t understand that surely Rachel could find some other dick somewhere in Paris.” It has absolutely NOTHING to do with “finding dick”. Whether you were a virgin or not it has to do that she was IN LOVE with Ross. They had a child together, they had history together they were IN LOVE. That was one of the main relationship plots of the show was Ross and Rachel.

“But still, overwhelmingly, audiences seem fine pretending that Friends was any good at all. Likely contributing to this wrong conclusion is how easy it is to access the show’s back catalog, which is readily available to stream…” Who are you to say this it is a “wrong conclusion” people like what they like and there is a reason that this show still has such a fan base and continues to be watched by newer generations. It is relatable and still has relevancy whether you want to admit it or not. The problems that these characters go through are still problems that people go through today including the “impressionable youths” that you mention.

“It just seems odd that the show that the most marketable generation is, for some reason, watching is also the least relevant show on the market.” They are watching because the show is in fact still relevant. Relevant by definition means appropriate to the current time, period, or circumstances; of contemporary interest. If someone from today relates to the show, which I believe most people watching it do, I can myself say that I still relate to it, makes it relevant.

I’d like to point out that so far this woman has not really provided any facts as to why the show is “garbage” or irrelevant. Again, I will link that article at the end of this post so you all can read it and decide for yourself what you think but I’m just saying I haven’t seen anything yet.

The next part of her “argument” against Friends lists a bunch of other shows such as Seinfeld, The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and Cheers that are good for streaming because of nostalgic purposes but unlike Friends they are actually good. Again no evidence or facts about why Friends is bad. She goes on to say that The Office is “a program about an abusive boss who harasses his employees, all of whom develop a kind of Stockholm Syndrome so they can continue working at a paper company. (Do teens remember paper?) But it is, still, pretty funny and full of pathos and redemption.” First off, yes teens still remember paper. I’d like to point out I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. Also, how is Friends not funny or how is it worse than how she describes The Office? There is not everyday harassment like everyone deals with from Michael Scott. Again I want to point out that I have nothing against The Office. I very much enjoy the show and laugh along with my boyfriend every time we rewatch it, which is all the time. She also goes on to list a thing about the other shows but doesn’t give anything against Friends. Friends is funny. You don’t laugh when Ross tries to teach Phoebe and Rachel “unagi”? You don’t laugh when Joey puts on all of Chandler’s clothes? “I’m Chandler, could I BE wearing any more clothes, or the iconic PIVOT scene. Friends IS funny.

“But loving Friends in 2019 requires a level of mental gymnastics that should force the show to remain a forgotten blip in the past.” Honestly at this point I have no idea why this woman hates Friends so much. She honestly sounds like a child who didn’t get her way about something and is just throwing a tantrum for no reason. Or maybe her point is to get people to do or feel exactly what I am, all worked up. Maybe she just wants to illicit a response from someone. Sometimes that’s all people want. Maybe I’m playing into it. Either way I don’t give a shit. I will forever defend my favorite show because it is a good show that is still clearly very loved by a broad fan base.

I am going to quote pretty much an entire paragraph here again but it all needs to be addressed. “List any of your “favorite” episodes and there’s likely something grotesque buried in the plot. Chandler’s father is inexplicably and unnecessarily a drag queen, played by the cis actor Kathleen Turner, and is the source of many an anti-trans punchline. As a teenager, Monica was fat and that’s it, that’s the joke… Ross’s ex-wife is a lesbian and isn’t it funny that his son has two mommies?” Chandler’s father being a drag queen is to show why he is the way he is as an adult. It also has to do with his mom too. Also, as far as being anti-trans, I don’t see it that way. Maybe I’m wrong but being trans and being a drag queen are quite different anyway I believe. Even if it is “anti-trans” which I don’t think it is at least it addressed a different lifestyle than just being straight. Monica being fat as the joke is the only thing I sort of agree with but I view it as her and her friends poking fun at her past not as them looking down on fat people in general. Specifically since Monica pokes fun at herself too. Ross’s ex-wife, Carol being a lesbian is kind of made out to be a joke but more at Ross’s expense and his failed marriages than at her being a lesbian. I don’t think the joke ever was that Ben has two mommies. He’s even made fun of at school for it and Ross talks about it as how it’s a problem between the kids and it’s not okay. Also, don’t come at me for being homophobic or anti-trans for my view of the show and disputing what this woman writing the article says. I’ve had my share of interaction and relationships with these things and I am a very accepting and loving person. I’m simply stating I think she is wrong.

The next paragraph goes on to talk about how multiple guest stars on Freinds had experienced not so great times on set but gives no examples and also mentions “…the infamous 2004 lawsuit that Amaani Lyle, an assistant in the writers room, filed against the show for being forced to listen to the writers joke about Joey raping Rachel, and watch them pantomime masturbating, and mock ’black ghetto talk.’” While whether those things are real or not have nothing to do with the actual show being garbage which is her apparent claim throughout this whole article while she has still not given any evidence to that except the paragraph above about Chandler’s dad, Carol being a lesbian and Monica being fat. Which I have given my views on and don’t think she is correct on. Again not to take away from the seriousness of the lawsuit or the not so great experiences that the guest stars may or may not have had that does not have to do with the actual quality of the show itself. She needs to pick a lane and stay in it. Getting into the other stuff is a different conversation that I would gladly go point for point for again.

“Beyond making it harder to sue for workplace harassment, what lasting cultural relevance has Friends given us, exactly?” The workplace harassment, again is something different from the show itself being garbage. If she wanted to talk about the aspects of the making of the show she should have stated that from the beginning and stopped talking about the actual show itself and the characters on it. They are two different conversations. I am defending the show and it’s characters which I don’t believe she has done a good job of trying to make it into a garbage show anyway. Again if people relate to the show then it is relevant. I, and I would think many others watching the show still relate to it proves that it is in fact still relevant and while maybe the cultures are a little different between that time and this time, there are still the same issues and problems which makes it relevant that way too.

This is the last paragraph of her article and I believe the driving force behind the article to begin with, she thinks SHE is old and irrelevant and is taking it out on a show that so many people love. “But, of course, none of this matters. By the rules of the internet, I am but an old woman, a millennial aging out of importance.” That, I believe, is her trying to come to terms with her own age and importance and relevancy.

“And they too will one day grow up and realize the truth about Friends, that it was just a show about beautiful twigs wearing sweater T-shirts with a behemoth network’s marketing machine behind it. This will be their rite of passage, and the good news is they’ll likely come to terms with the disappointment of returning to something they loved; the show they enjoyed at 14, though it ended before they were born, is indeed not so good.” Or they will grow up to be like many other adults, myself included, who love Friends and see the show for what it actually is, a show about the complexities of friendships, relationships, learning how to go out on your own and growing up. It is not about “beautiful twigs wearing sweater T-shirts”. Ignoring the things that it did teach us and disregarding it in favor of other shows that are neither better or worse than Friends is ridiculous. Again, I have nothing against any of the other shows she mentions. I have watched them all and enjoy them all but Friends is no different. She also never really points out any concrete evidence as to why she thinks it is such a terrible show. Maybe she just had a bad experience with it or doesn’t like it and that’s okay but for her to go off on the whole show without giving an reasons as to why she really thinks that is nonsense. The “reasons” that she does give are also nonsense and I think I proved that with my points. Everyone is of course entitled to their own opinion but I think this is really about her coming to terms with her own age and relevancy for whatever reason.

In conclusion, Friends is a great show and still holds true for many fans new and old. I will gladly take on anyone who wants to dispute this. Again if someone just doesn’t like the show because it’s simply not their thing that is fine, but to try to disparage it for everyone is ridiculous and non sense. But I’m just a girl with her very strong opinions.

As I stated in the beginning and throughout the article here is the link to the article that sparked this blog post and that I quoted from: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/scaachikoul/friends-anniversary-bad