I want to start this post out by saying that I have thought about everything I am about to say or rather write, long and hard. I wasn’t sure if I was even going to post it but obviously you can see I decided I would. The reason I say that is because a lot of people (even though no one really reads this, but if they did) would probably be upset. However, this is just my opinion and feelings on a topic and I wanted to share it because I can and maybe other people can relate and share in my irritation.
I am also going to say that this is not to shit on moms and no, I do not have any children currently but I fully intend to. I have nannied and babysat multiple children, multiple times. Also, do not tell me that my feelings will change, they will not. I know that babysitting and nannying is different than parenting because I don’t have the child all the time but it’s still given me a taste of parenting and I do feel qualified to share my opinion on it. Also, I am a human being with a basic sense of manners and values and instilling them into the tiny humans that we bring into this world. If we ever decide to do that.
Okay so here we go. There is not much that annoys me more than mommies and the woe is me attitude they seem to have. Now I am NOT saying that every mom is this way and I know that being a mother is hard work. Being a parent in general is hard. I am not trying to discredit that and I know that this whole post is probably going to come off as bitchy and maybe even petty but I don’t care. Again this is just my opinion and I’m entitled to it. I also know that if people happen to actually read this it may upset them and that’s okay I’m still writing this and they’re entitled to their opinions.
Okay so back to the woe is me attitude thing. What I mean by that is that women in general and especially moms it seems, tend to feel like they have to do it all and have it all and be “perfect”. I know that society can put that pressure on women and being a woman I call bullshit. Now again I know I am not a mom but still not once have I ever felt that pressure that everyone seems to feel. Maybe that’s because I genuinely don’t really care what people think about me and my life is my life. I am happy and living it the way I want to. Now the woe is me thing I’m talking about is whether they are single moms or not they feel they need to do it all and have it all on their own.
One of my biggest things with that, is when moms post things or say things about how their husband or fiancé or boyfriend or whatever are like “oh he helped out by watching the kids”. First of all, no he parented his kids and took care of them the way they should and like parents do. If he isn’t then you need to talk to him and tell him he needs to do his share of the work. Second of all, a lot of moms, at least ones I know don’t let the dads do anything or think they have to do it because they’re the mom. What is that? I come from a divorced family and my dad is the one that I lived with and he raised me so maybe that’s where my view comes from but dads are obviously very capable of being dads and moms not letting them do anything is ridiculous and further perpetuating the woe is me thing. Let your partner do the work too. That is what they are there for. To share your life with that includes parenting their child.
Now as far being a working mom and playing the woe is me card there that’s just as irritating to me. First of all in this day and age it’s not an anomaly for moms to work whether they are single or in a relationship. A lot of times families need both parents or adults to work. Now that is fine. If you’re lucky enough to be a stay at home mom that’s great but if you’re not that’s also great. I know there is “mom guilt” and all that but really I think it’s a little ridiculous. One, if you’re a single mom you have to work to try and provide for you and your child(children) and as I stated earlier even if you’re not a single mom chances are you probably still have to work.
I’m going to share a little story about a post on Facebook that I saw earlier that made me probably a little more mad than it should have but in my defense I had not yet taken my nap and was a little cranky. Yes I take naps on the regular. I need them, trust me. But a girl that I am friends with on Facebook posted a thing and it said “I’m not a bad mom because I work. I’m not a bad employee because I’m a mom”. Now I agree with this statement but the thing is no one said she was and I know that maybe some people do get that from people but you know what who cares? Live your life the way you want and at the end of the day your child is going to appreciate how hard you and your partner if you have one work for them to have all the things they need. Another thing (this is specifically about this girl on Facebook) but she literally just started working last week and took the last half of this week off for a “surprise vacation”. Which if you’re not fired for doing that than you literally have the best boss in the world. Now I know that was more targeted but I just needed to rant for a minute.
Anyway most of my thing is I think moms put themselves on a pedestal and do they deserve love and recognition for working so hard? Absolutely! But so do dads and any other care takers. I just don’t believe that they should be treated so freaking special. Now I know I come off as a little mom hate-y but I’m not. I love moms. I have one and I love her so much. Just because I was raised by my dad does not mean that I do not love my mom or don’t have a good relationship with her, I do. I talked to her earlier today. A lot about what I was writing about in this post and I know Mother’s Day is right around the corner and I will give a whole bunch of love to my mom and my dad’s girlfriend whom is a mother like figure in my life and all the other mom’s I know but that still does not change my feelings about any of this.
Another thing that irritates me probably the most about all of this is that for the most part, having children is a choice. Of course there are certain instances, but some of that comes down to responsibility and access to birth control which is a whole other issue and other things I won’t mention because they are very serious and sensitive issues. But if you make the choice to have a child than all of that stuff comes with it. Don’t complain or act like you’re some super hero because you had a child. It is a wonderful thing to create life but for the most part you make that choice and don’t deserve a medal for doing something you chose to do.
Think With Your Heart 